Fear

I’ve been thinking about fear a lot lately. Fear drives and motivates just as it holds back and prevents. Fear has kept me out of the saddle for so long. Fear of injury and pain; fear of failure. Not that all of my avoidance is blamed on fear. Some of it is lack of planning, coordinating, and preparation (all three of which are required to be a regular commuter). 

As a matter of fact, I have more excuses now than ever before to not ride. My commute is now farther than before as my office has moved a mile further down the street. My new office location does not offer changing facilities or showers, which means I need to change in a toilet stall rather than in a locker room. All excuses steeped in fear and inconvenience.

Fear, on the other hand, is also what motivates me back into the saddle. Fear of holding back, and fear of complacency.

So this is how I start back: slowly. First, taking it around Lake Lenexa a few whirls a week, then I extend my distance until my desire to succeed has outpaced my fear of failure and I can prove to myself that I can brave the traffic in my 22-mile daily commute.